This week has been an eventful one. A very long and deep psycho-therapy session earlier in the week, and on top of the hypno sessions I’ve had in recent months, has brought home the facts. For me, it isn’t the XY imbalance, which I’d believed for decades, to be my reason for being T. I now know the reason, am able to deal with it, and have done. Some T-friends have asked me why I need to know. That was my choice, which I decided to take. Anyway, from now, Lisa Karen Devonshire is no more. For the last 30+ months I’d been convinced that there was a certain road to take, and now I realise I didn’t need to go there.
Anyway, this weekend the clothes are coming off the hangers and are being boxed and cleared. Ditto, what’s in the drawers. The make-up is being boxed up, along with the hair, and is going to someone close for safe keeping.
It’ll be no Sparkle for me this weekend, and the start of a new life chapter. Some friends know this already, and as I’ve said to them, we’ll always keep in touch as friends.
Thanks to all for following this blog.
So, it’s goodbye from her…
Friday, 10 July 2009
Friday, 3 July 2009
You are feeling sleepy....
Well after my last hypno-regression session a few weeks ago, I've just found time to book another session next week. It'll be a bit of a marathon, but I'm ready for it.
I have a different perspective on my t-issues these days. I'm certainly more comfortable, and controlling, with the situation now than I was 3-4 months ago, before I'd had any hypno.
Someone asked me a few weeks ago, why I wanted to know the reasons for being as I am. Fair point. I now know, or rather believe, that it's because of a 'conditioning at childhood', rather than me just being born this way. The issue is, 'Is it curable, or do I want it to be?' Certainly, those that know me in the north west may not have seen me out as much in recent months, and that is honestly through choice. I didn't need or want to be Lisa. Another thing going through my mind, is whether it is possible to have another 'purge' in middle age? As that seems to be an age when a lot of my t-pals seem to be most active. I have to admit that on a few occasions in the last few months, when I've seen the dresses in the wardrobe, I've felt that they were just in the way, and was close to putting them all away in boxes.
Another issue is that this time next week, I'll be at Sparkle. I just can't get the enthusiasm for it. I remember the buzz I got from going to the last 2, but this time: zilch.
Can a new up / down / up down /up relationship really be the reason for this?
Maybe next week's hypno will throw some light on things!
I have a different perspective on my t-issues these days. I'm certainly more comfortable, and controlling, with the situation now than I was 3-4 months ago, before I'd had any hypno.
Someone asked me a few weeks ago, why I wanted to know the reasons for being as I am. Fair point. I now know, or rather believe, that it's because of a 'conditioning at childhood', rather than me just being born this way. The issue is, 'Is it curable, or do I want it to be?' Certainly, those that know me in the north west may not have seen me out as much in recent months, and that is honestly through choice. I didn't need or want to be Lisa. Another thing going through my mind, is whether it is possible to have another 'purge' in middle age? As that seems to be an age when a lot of my t-pals seem to be most active. I have to admit that on a few occasions in the last few months, when I've seen the dresses in the wardrobe, I've felt that they were just in the way, and was close to putting them all away in boxes.
Another issue is that this time next week, I'll be at Sparkle. I just can't get the enthusiasm for it. I remember the buzz I got from going to the last 2, but this time: zilch.
Can a new up / down / up down /up relationship really be the reason for this?
Maybe next week's hypno will throw some light on things!
Thursday, 2 July 2009
A day beside the seaside
Last weekend was the Unique Summer Weekend at the Edelweiss Hotel in Colwyn Bay. Teela from Transpose has asked Natalie and myself to go over for the day, and man (?) the stall that they were setting up for the delegates. I was really hoping for a hot and sunny day, to wear my new long white summer skirt; however it wasn’t to be, so I settled on a brown patterned vest and beige pleated trousers. The weather was dry, but generally cloudy.
We met at the shop at 10, loaded up the car with bits to sell and then got to the hotel about an hour later. We were met by the chairperson from Unique, and shown where to set up the stall in the dining room. We were to be the only stall in there. Whilst they were still preparing the room for us, we took tea in the sitting room, where we met some of the other residents who were still recovering from the events there the previous evening. I can’t go into too much detail here; I was surprised to find a baseball bat half-shoved under one of the settee’s though.
I remember having met some of the girls at the Christmas buffet I went to last year, some of whom were a pleasure to catch up with again. Later on, Anna and Catherine from the MCC choir turned up, so it was good to see some more familiar friends.
Overall, the day was relatively quiet. Teela probably sold more wigs than anything else, although there was a good range of items on sale. I even managed to get a complimentary manicure and polish from Tilly! She had put together a snack for us so that did us for lunch, where I was also sold the concept of getting an Easi-Yo from QVC.
We were going to stay for the dinner, but our circumstances changed during the day, so we packed up and got away about 6-ish. After unpacking back at the shop, I finally got home about 8 pm. So there I was, a Saturday night ahead, and ready to party. Then the phone rang: a special friend asked me what I was doing later, so out came the ROC cleansing wipes, nail varnish remover, and it was quickly back to bob mode for a further wonderful 36 hours!
We met at the shop at 10, loaded up the car with bits to sell and then got to the hotel about an hour later. We were met by the chairperson from Unique, and shown where to set up the stall in the dining room. We were to be the only stall in there. Whilst they were still preparing the room for us, we took tea in the sitting room, where we met some of the other residents who were still recovering from the events there the previous evening. I can’t go into too much detail here; I was surprised to find a baseball bat half-shoved under one of the settee’s though.
I remember having met some of the girls at the Christmas buffet I went to last year, some of whom were a pleasure to catch up with again. Later on, Anna and Catherine from the MCC choir turned up, so it was good to see some more familiar friends.
Overall, the day was relatively quiet. Teela probably sold more wigs than anything else, although there was a good range of items on sale. I even managed to get a complimentary manicure and polish from Tilly! She had put together a snack for us so that did us for lunch, where I was also sold the concept of getting an Easi-Yo from QVC.
We were going to stay for the dinner, but our circumstances changed during the day, so we packed up and got away about 6-ish. After unpacking back at the shop, I finally got home about 8 pm. So there I was, a Saturday night ahead, and ready to party. Then the phone rang: a special friend asked me what I was doing later, so out came the ROC cleansing wipes, nail varnish remover, and it was quickly back to bob mode for a further wonderful 36 hours!
Thursday, 18 June 2009
LBD
In the spare wardrobe is a lovely plain black Max Mara dress, a timeless classic, with little sparkly diamonds on it. It's been in there for a few years, and was left by my ex when she moved out. In the past, I'd tried it on, but couldn't get the zip up more than halfway.
I tried it on again this week, after having lost a few inches from my chest in recent months. I can now zip it up fully, and it fits perfectly!
Bliss!
I tried it on again this week, after having lost a few inches from my chest in recent months. I can now zip it up fully, and it fits perfectly!
Bliss!
Sunday, 7 June 2009
Shopping time
Three visits to Cheshire Oaks in the last 4 days: yes, things are getting back to normal, and I’m enjoying the interaction with other shoppers and staff. It was pleasant to get back to Phase Eight, where I picked up a lovely blouse, reduced from £45 to £13.50. The sales assistant was great fun, telling me about her recent fab family vacation to Vegas. A surreal moment: I was trying on a blouse and 2 dresses in the far cubicle, and wasn’t in any hurry. After a few minutes, I heard one of the girls ask: ‘Is everything alright? Lady in the far cubicle?!’
I also had a bit of time in Next Clearance, where I picked up a jacket, black velvet skinny jeans, shorts and a long white floaty skirt. Had to take the jacket back on Saturday though, as I’d picked up a size 16, but I must have dropped a size in the last few months!
On Wednesday night I also made my first visit to my local Tesco. It was late on in the evening, and I had long enough to pick up a basket-load of basics. The double-take from the young check out girl when she looked was a picture, and the smile that she returned was lovely!
I also had a bit of time in Next Clearance, where I picked up a jacket, black velvet skinny jeans, shorts and a long white floaty skirt. Had to take the jacket back on Saturday though, as I’d picked up a size 16, but I must have dropped a size in the last few months!
On Wednesday night I also made my first visit to my local Tesco. It was late on in the evening, and I had long enough to pick up a basket-load of basics. The double-take from the young check out girl when she looked was a picture, and the smile that she returned was lovely!
‘Normal’ service has resumed....
Some friends will know why I’ve not been around much in person for the last few months, and why I’ve spent even less time keeping the blog up to date. It’s not that I haven’t been out and about, although those times have been less frequent in recent months.
A special relationship was the reason, which opened up ways of looking at personal issues from different angles, partly through hypno therapy analysis. I thought I’d cracked a certain issue, and then about 10 days ago something else happened, which threw everything back up in the air again.
So, single again, life goes on.....and, I’m back.
A special relationship was the reason, which opened up ways of looking at personal issues from different angles, partly through hypno therapy analysis. I thought I’d cracked a certain issue, and then about 10 days ago something else happened, which threw everything back up in the air again.
So, single again, life goes on.....and, I’m back.
Thursday, 26 March 2009
Ouch, again.
But not really though. I had session 2 of the IPL about 10 days ago. I can hardly call it painful. Just an occasional flash and a bit of burning, and that's it. I felt like parts of my face were a bit sunburnt for a few hours later, and that was it.
I think that in the next few days a few of the dark hairs will fall out, and for now, I've got a few bare patches on my chin and lower neck.
The worst part is putting on a high SPF cream.....no sun allowed!
I think that in the next few days a few of the dark hairs will fall out, and for now, I've got a few bare patches on my chin and lower neck.
The worst part is putting on a high SPF cream.....no sun allowed!
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